So, I really don't have a lot of summer plans. This could be good and bad for two reasons. One, is this is probably the first summer I will have not worked in.... who knows how many years? And I'm a little concerned that I will be bored. This could be good, though, as it gives me plenty of time to prepare for the baby coming, as when school starts up again I will be subbing and fairly busy (hopefully).
The biggest thing coming up on our plate is the high school youth trip with our church to CIY. Christ In Youth conferences are the highlight of our summers for our youth group. The kids love it (and the sponsors aren't necessarily ambivalent about it, either). This year, we're very excited because we're attending the conference in Colorado. They hold the conferences all over the country all summer long; normally, we go to Illinois in the dead heat of July. I'm overjoyed at the prospect of Colorado because we are going to Durango, which I've always wanted to visit again, and because it will be a little cooler and more comfortable for me, being pregnant, to walk around campus. We also have it on good authority (from our pastor who used to intern for CIY) that this is one of the best conferences they offer. So we're excited.
I'm hoping my family will also have the opportunity to visit Omaha. I miss having friends in Omaha that I could go back and visit regularly. A: I miss the friends. B: I actually miss visiting Omaha. At the moment, I'm trying to wrangle everybody into getting up to the Henry Doorly Zoo, but it's still up in the air.
Otherwise, the only real summer plans I have are for the high school girls small group this summer. I am going to be taking them through Hebrews, and alongside the weekly lessons, I am writing a daily study for them if they want a devotional throughout the summer. It's a lot of work to write a Bible study (definite kudos to the professionals out there), but I'm enjoying it. I only hope the girls enjoy it as much.
And then... there's just waiting for the summer months to pass so we are that much closer to the arrival of Baby Kemper. I am excited in July we get to have our sonogram and we hope to find out what we're having. We have the names picked out; we just need to know which one we're using! Hopefully, as well, we'll get work done on the condo and get it put up for sale. I'd like to believe we'll have it sold and we'll be moved into a house by the time the baby arrives, but that may be wishful thinking. We shall see.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
The power of encouraging words
This morning, my husband made my day by telling me I make him happy.
It's not that he doesn't tell me he loves me or that he appreciates me or that he enjoys me. Nick is actually very good at telling me every day that he loves me. But, he doesn't always have an easy time of putting his thoughts and feelings into words. So moments like that, when he says something that expresses what I mean to him are so precious. I admit that I beamed and I cried and I have been floating on air ever since.
It's not that he doesn't tell me he loves me or that he appreciates me or that he enjoys me. Nick is actually very good at telling me every day that he loves me. But, he doesn't always have an easy time of putting his thoughts and feelings into words. So moments like that, when he says something that expresses what I mean to him are so precious. I admit that I beamed and I cried and I have been floating on air ever since.
Friday, May 8, 2009
The due punishment for painful shyness and self-doubt
Today, I stumbled across a blog from an old friend from college. I always admired this friend: she was beautiful, popular, intelligent, incredibly well put-together. I always thought, "If only I could be more like her." But I am shy, awkward, definitely not popular, and certainly not as capable as expressing myself as she was. I sometimes floated on the edge of her circle, but was never really a part of it. I was sure she thought I was a nerd, but to nice to say anything about it. So imagine my surprise when one day, as we were on our way to an evening of working with kid's club out our church, she confessed that she had similar thoughts to me! She felt that I was kind of cool, but I thought she was weird. That couldn't have been farther from the truth! And from there, we began a friendship. It perhaps wasn't a perfect friendship; it was certainly rocky at times, but I still continued to admire her, her accomplishments, her attributes. She's a great woman.
Over the years, however, our friendship fell into disuse. We both moved about a little bit; we have pursued different paths. We are "friends" on Facebook, but we never really communicate. I had no idea she had a blog, and stumbled onto because I was reading someone else's. But as I read some of her entries, I was reminded of how much I'd always admired her. She's so intellectual; she writes so well. What I wouldn't give for her turn of phrase, for her mastery of words! We're certainly very different, in our tastes in music, in literature, even some of our views. But I was saddened to realize that our friendship belongs in those old "days goneby." And saddened even more to realize that, for me, there are an overwhelming number of relationships like this one: past-tense.
There are actually a number of people from my past that I'd love to catch up with. I'd love to hear how they're doing, what they're up to, how life has changed, and where they're hoping to go from here. And truth be told, I largely blame myself for letting things go. But as the title of this post suggests, I sometimes can't work up the courage to do it: I'm too freaking shy.
I've been shy all my life. I was too scared to go to the counter at McDonald's to get ketchup for my fries or to the pizza counter to get a box for our leftovers. My sister had to do it. I couldn't ask someone for directions or where to find something. Walking up to someone and initiating a conversation, no matter how impersonal, gave me fits! Even today, I struggle with that shyness. Over the years, it's been compounded, actually, by miscommunications that have led me into some incredibly painful experiences where I've learned people did not take something I said the way I meant it. (Good lesson in learning about how to communicate, but incredibly painful when the other person is not willing to try to meet you halfway, unwilling to try to understand you, or even forgive you. Some of those experiences still haunt me.) The end result being a stronger inclination to shyness, a great deal of self-doubt when it comes to how other people perceive me or what they think of me, which in turn leads to a great deal of social awkwardness with just about everyone but my immediate family and my closest of friends. I once read on an acquaintance's page that she has a natural inclination to think people don't like her because of her own shyness, and I felt such affiliation with her, but was too shy and awkward to let her know! Couple all this, then, with a severe conversational handicap, and you get me. (I can sit by someone for fifteen minutes, saying absolutely nothing, while racking my brain for something to say and ask to begin a conversation, only to come up empty. I'm blessed that my in-laws are forbearing; but that's another post.)
The end result? My due punishment: I haven't kept in touch with many of the people I've once known because I either have no idea what to say, or I'm too shy to contact them. I've lost track of people I care about. And now, sometimes I wonder if it's too late? Or, if I can overcome my shyness, will they see a reason to respond?
Over the years, however, our friendship fell into disuse. We both moved about a little bit; we have pursued different paths. We are "friends" on Facebook, but we never really communicate. I had no idea she had a blog, and stumbled onto because I was reading someone else's. But as I read some of her entries, I was reminded of how much I'd always admired her. She's so intellectual; she writes so well. What I wouldn't give for her turn of phrase, for her mastery of words! We're certainly very different, in our tastes in music, in literature, even some of our views. But I was saddened to realize that our friendship belongs in those old "days goneby." And saddened even more to realize that, for me, there are an overwhelming number of relationships like this one: past-tense.
There are actually a number of people from my past that I'd love to catch up with. I'd love to hear how they're doing, what they're up to, how life has changed, and where they're hoping to go from here. And truth be told, I largely blame myself for letting things go. But as the title of this post suggests, I sometimes can't work up the courage to do it: I'm too freaking shy.
I've been shy all my life. I was too scared to go to the counter at McDonald's to get ketchup for my fries or to the pizza counter to get a box for our leftovers. My sister had to do it. I couldn't ask someone for directions or where to find something. Walking up to someone and initiating a conversation, no matter how impersonal, gave me fits! Even today, I struggle with that shyness. Over the years, it's been compounded, actually, by miscommunications that have led me into some incredibly painful experiences where I've learned people did not take something I said the way I meant it. (Good lesson in learning about how to communicate, but incredibly painful when the other person is not willing to try to meet you halfway, unwilling to try to understand you, or even forgive you. Some of those experiences still haunt me.) The end result being a stronger inclination to shyness, a great deal of self-doubt when it comes to how other people perceive me or what they think of me, which in turn leads to a great deal of social awkwardness with just about everyone but my immediate family and my closest of friends. I once read on an acquaintance's page that she has a natural inclination to think people don't like her because of her own shyness, and I felt such affiliation with her, but was too shy and awkward to let her know! Couple all this, then, with a severe conversational handicap, and you get me. (I can sit by someone for fifteen minutes, saying absolutely nothing, while racking my brain for something to say and ask to begin a conversation, only to come up empty. I'm blessed that my in-laws are forbearing; but that's another post.)
The end result? My due punishment: I haven't kept in touch with many of the people I've once known because I either have no idea what to say, or I'm too shy to contact them. I've lost track of people I care about. And now, sometimes I wonder if it's too late? Or, if I can overcome my shyness, will they see a reason to respond?
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