New favorite song

I'm supposed to be working on my Chronological Bible blog, but I've got this song running through my head; I find I can't concentrate on Exodus at the moment.

They're playing this song on Air1by Switchfoot right now, and I love it.  Didn't think I was the type, did you?  I didn't either.  But this one, it gets into my head and into my feet, and I find myself just humming along.  Have you heard it?  "Your love is a song"?  It's so good.  The syncopation of the syllables, the inflection of the singer's voice as he more intones than sings it.  It's wonderful.  I won't repeat the lyrics here, to avoid copyright infringement, but the chorus just kind of breathes through me sometimes.  "Your love is a symphony, all around me..."  I think it's a perfect description of God's love.  It's all around us, it's true and vibrant, and when we open ourselves to it, it touches us the way only music or art (of various kinds) seem to be able to.  I do not pretend that all of the lyrics make perfect sense (and that is something that's important to me).  Why is everything wide open?  To be able to take in His love?  I don't know.  There seems to be big jumps in what he's talking about, but I forgive Switchfoot the lack of continuity because the melody, the rhythm, the mood, it all works.  And at least I understand the chorus perfectly.

Work

I drove by what will be our new house in a few months yesterday.  I started thinking about all the things I am looking forward to and can't wait to take advantage of, set-up, etc.: having my own kitchen again, having our furniture, storing our things in the basement for easy access, and the garden.  The only problem is that I am convinced I have a black thumb; after all, I killed every plant I had in college.  Nick will have to be the one to care for it, and as he works all day, almost every day, it might be a bit of a challenge.  It's a shame, I thought, that planting, gardening, reaping is so much work, thanks to the curse laid on the land by the Fall of Man.  But, wait, is that totally fair?

From his creation, Adam was actually given a job: to care for the earth.  He named the animals (a feat in itself, if you think of the variety that God has created).  He tended the garden.  Did that meant there were weeds even then?  Did he have to dead-head plants?  I don't know what that practically means, even less since I really don't know what is really involved to make plants thrive.  I assume, though, that it was not nearly the amount of work or difficulty we might experience now.  But still, he did have to work.  I realized: we were created to work.  We were made for it.  God never intended us to sit back on our heels, lazing about on green, leafy couches and do... nothing.  We were made to enjoy working.  It is only because of the fall that working is hard (and why now this idea of work means to do something difficult).

This is nothing new; it's not rocket science.  I already believe we will be working in Heaven and loving it.  But it did bring new implications to me.  First, I wondered what God makes of the American practice of retirement.  Where people work hard for thirty, forty, fifty years so that they can then kick back their heels.  Is that the way it's supposed to be?  Or, should it really be that then we are free to work in the ways that we choose to, rather than at our boss's behest?  Work in your garden, work in your home office, work in your kitchen.  Work by volunteering!  It also reminded me that I should take joy in the work before me: caring for our child and our home.  The first part, caring for Eliza is a cinch.  Not always easy, no.  But I love it, as I love her.  The second part is more of a challenge.  I hate housework.  I hate to clean.  I know all the statements about making the house a home for your family and making it a good environment to live in.  Well, is it such a good environment if Mom is gritchy all the time from doing housework?  No.  But that's up to me: I can have a good attitude or a bad one.  I think this is something the Lord is really laying on my heart, because it comes back to me whenever I come face to face with the Proverbs 31 Woman (bless her) and even recently in our Bible study.  Make my home happy by being happy that I get to make our home.  I am a homemaker.  I love being a stay-at-home mom, but I am more than that.  I am a housekeeper, a cook; I set the tone for our home in how I care for it and for my family.

So, sigh, I must leave you now.  I have things to dust, things to vacuum, things to pick up.  Maybe some day I'll get the organization thing down so I know what to do with all the little odds and ends that don't really have a place but a use, so you can't just throw them away.  That's another thing to look forward to: having more than one room to live in (or rather, our stuff to live in). :)

Nap times are too scarce

I love my girl.  I LOVE my girl.  But there are times I wished nap-time extended to three hours.  Case in point: I've been considering a blog overhaul.  More like a massive clean-up.  Actually putting labels to work.  Organizing (since I can't seem to organize my real-life stuff...) and improving.  Maybe improving?  But to do so would mean my daughter would have to nap longer, far longer, than she usually does.  Sigh.  The long list of things I could or would accomplish if I knew she was happily occupied with sleep.  There are just some things I can't do with noise going on, even happy noise.  It is one of my many limitations.

I feel I've neglected my blog a little lately.  I've been working hard on my Bible study one over at www.readingbiblechronologically.blogspot.com but not so much here.  And usually, that work over at my study one happens well after bed time.  Everyone's bed time.  There are two happy developments I am praying for: Eliza to learn to sleep until just 7am (though 8am would be better) and having consistent internet access.  Ah, the dream...

Speaking of consistent internet access, that dream is on hold for yet awhile longer.  The tenant in what will be our apartment in our house has asked for more time to move out and has been granted it.  At this rate, she's getting a little over six weeks (more if you count the notice she got before the sale closed).  Very frustrating, as it puts our ability to get into the apartment and get things cleaned up back a bit. More than a little bit.  But what can you do, when you're not making the decisions?  I have to give credit, though, to my mom for having a generous and open heart and wanting to help someone.  Kudos, Mama.  You're a better woman than I.  So, yes, I get the opportunity to practice patience, the tenant gets a little more time, which thankfully will allow her family to help her, and we won't be moving until September, best case.  It makes it harder to wait to move and get my own nest set up, to wait until I can stock my own pantry and start trying out my ideas and stockpile of recipes.  (I'm seriously considering making my own vanilla extract, and it's so easy that all I have to do is remember to shake the jar every few weeks!  But I may have to save up for the vanilla bean....)  I could try making my own bread here, but we have so much store-bought lying around I don't know how we make it through it all.  Maybe I should have a discussion with Mom and see what she thinks.

(Now, what label would you give a random post like this?  This is why, largely, I've ignored the label feature...)

An excellent and worthy woman

Last night I taught a lesson on Ruth for d-group.  I think it went moderately well.  I definitely think it could have been better.  But that's not my point.

This summer we're doing a series on being an excellent and worthy woman.  This is because I am not an excellent or worthy woman and want to be.  Hence, the study, and I'm bringing the girls along for the ride.  I wish there had been more time to talk more about personally relating to the things we learned about Ruth.  I don't want any of those girls coming away with the same thoughts that I did: I am soooo not Ruth.  I want them to walk away saying, "You know, Ruth didn't seem like the most likely candidate for God to use at first, but He's till using her today, and He can use me!"  But maybe you can't teach that if you haven't gotten it yourself.

Here's my thing: Ruth was dedicated, loyal, hard-working, generous, selfless, diligent, brave, and faithful, among other things.  I am about... maybe 1/4 of those.  Maybe.  Dedicated and loyal, that's me.  Tenacious, yes, some even say stubborn.  Hard-working?  I can be, but apparently not at the work I've currently been given: being a housewife (though I would like to think I am a hardworking mommy!).  I'm not brave; I have to recite the verses about not having a spirit of fear and intimidation often.  I am faithful, though the One I want to be most faithful to I have fall down for.  I'm not selfless; I have to work hard at that, and I often fail.  I have a list of people who like to tell me so.  I even have a list of things I've fallen down on just this week!  I'm not Ruth.

This is why I'm doing this series.  I want to be more like Ruth.  I want to be more like the Proverbs 31 Woman.  (I asked my husband this week if that woman every had sick days.  He thought so; I don't know if her family would have been fed if she'd had...)  I have so far to go.  And before you advise me to give myself a break, you have to understand: if I keep giving myself breaks, I will never improve.  I will just keep cutting myself slack and cutting myself slack and cutting myself slack... You get the picture.  I am not trying to be a Debbie-downer on myself.  I'm just taking stock and thinking, "God, we have some work to do."

We'll get it done.

New website I'm cruising!

A friend of mine, who is actually beginning the whole foods process while I'm still just talking about it (yes, I'm slightly jealous), showed me this website.  I can tell you, I'm just a teensy-bit excited!  There's a goldmine of info here that I've only begun to plumb it's depths.  Homeschooling?  Yes, she discusses it.  Real cooking?  Yes, she does it.  Gardening?  Yes.  Canning/preserving?  Yes.  Here's a better question: what doesn't she do?  I so want to be her... as far as I know so far...

Here are the two sections I wish I could just sit down and read at this point:
Getting Real with Food
Feeding the Family

But, if you want to just take a look in general, here's the website Heavenly Homemakers.  I can tell you, as I get time and internet usage, I'll definitely be checking over there!

My new little notebook

My husband, the wonderful man that he is, has supplied me with a little notebook which looks like a red composition notebook (you know the kind, hard back, lined, and with a black/white mottled cover).  It's just a little smaller than my hand and perfect for carrying around with me.  This little notebook and I have big plans!  We are going to be going the various area grocery stores and the food co-op and the health stores; we're going to do some comparison shopping so I know where the best place to buy grains and beans and veggies, etc. might be.  I'm kind of excited about it.

How far do you go?

I've been talking a lot with a friend about our effort to go healthier and eat less processed foods.  Included in that battle just might be bread.  Now, I have very bad luck with bread: even in a machine it doesn't seem to come together like it should.  Yeast in general hates me.  But in Food Matters Mark Bittman supplies a whole-grain bread recipe that is supposed to be positively practically-no-work.  We'll see how it goes.  What my friend and I have been discussing is the flours and grains and things for such a bread.  And we've bandied the idea about that perhaps we should invest in home flour-mills and grind our own grains and make our own flours.  Did the sound affect that sounds like a record scraping stopped just play for you?  "Say what?"

Here are a couple of things on my mind: one is that whole-grain flour can be pretty expensive.  At least in this part of the country, I don't know about elsewhere.  It seems pretty stupid, living right in the middle of the Grain Belt and whole grain flours and things are still considered luxury or novelty items.  The organic and whole grain sections of the grocery stores are pitiful and the natural and health food stores are small and expensive.  But what about buying grain in bulk and grinding your own?  It's possible.  It's possibly cheaper than buying regular flour at the grocery store (possibly); this needs more checking out.

But my question is: how far am I going to go for this health-food craze?  How much am I able to handle?  I admit: I like convenience food.  I like convenience.  It would not be very convenient to grind my own flour, keep it in storage, use it up before it goes bad so as not to waste anything, find the space to keep bulk grain...  Not to mention then make my own bread, which could flop again and again.  (Maybe someday I'll figure it out.)  I've also thought of making my own yogurt (that I'm not so intimidated by as we made it in Africa from time to time).  How much time and energy am I able and willing to put into eating healthy?

If there's anyone out there reading who's done this kind of thing, doing this kind of thing, interested in doing this kind of thing, please, weigh in!  Expertise and experience are always welcome, as are ideas.  I'm intimidated by this because I am still trying to figure out how to care for a kiddo and get the house clean.  And now I'm thinking about adding making bread and yogurt (definitely not cheese, I'm afraid I'd lose my appetite for it) and who knows what else?  I have time before I get to start this: I don't feel that trashing my mom's kitchen in my quest for health is appropriate.  And I know I'll start out slow (though the temptation is to start out gung-ho).  But it's tempting.  Even romantic sounding.  Which means, I need a reality check.

Fun for all

Yesterday, my mom and I watched my sister's boys.  They're so much fun, those two, even if they can talk a little much, get a little too loud and a little too rowdy.  They adore my kid, and they love her toys.  Which is how yesterday afternoon happened.

After a hot morning on a walk and a long nap, Eliza was in need of a bath.  So, being her mommy, I gave her one.  Mike and Jim are fascinated with all things Eliza (they've even been known to come in during her poopy-diaper changes), and they came to visit her in her bath.  Not for the first time, they began to play with her bath toys.  These bath toys are nothing special: little plastic/rubber sea animals with spouts at their mouth that allow you to fill them with water so you can squirt it out of their mouths.  I squirted Jim, which he thought was funny.  I squirted Mike, which caused him to retreat from the bathroom at high speed and linger in the kitchen (at the other side of the house) until I promised I wouldn't squirt him again unless he asked for it.  And then, of course, both boys had to try it out.  Since Eliza was in her bath and not always completely impressed with the use of her own toys against her, I suggested I might take them outside for a squirt-fest if the boys were good throughout the afternoon.  I am a woman of my word, so shortly after 5pm, I took them outside, slathered in sunscreen, dressed in only their shorts, water bucket and squirt toys in hand.

It was glorious.  The afternoon was above 90-degrees and the water not freezing cold from the hose.  Nick arrived home shortly after we began, and I convinced him to join us.  What had been a rather organized and well-ruled squirt volley denigrated into an all-out squirt war!  Both boys were completely soaked and Nick and I not altogether dry (Nick has a dirty, under-handed way of squirting you in uncomfortable places while you're bent over the bucket, refilling your toy...), when Mom and Dad arrived.  Grammy (my mom) had even come outside to witness the carnage.

These are the things I love about summer: "loosening the ties" as it were, running around in your bare feet, willing to be soaked, the air filled with shrieks of laughter and children's pleasure.  I look forward to the day when we are doing such things with our own kids as well.