It's been a rather dastardly week. There is some not pretty stuff going on around here, and though it doesn't involve me directly, it hurts me. I hate seeing believers act in such a manner. I hate to see the Body of Christ hurt itself. Come on, we're not perfect people, and those who think we should be or shut up need a reality check. But still, it hurts when you see strife or hurt or disappointment in those you love and care about. When you see people hurt others. This has been a stressful, disappointing, burdening, discouraging week. And ironically, it comes before CIY.
If you're not familiar with CIY, it's Christ In Youth conference. Technically the summer high school conference is called Move, but I refuse to call it that. It is often the most difficult week for me, going with our high schoolers where spiritually we adults are overworked and underfed. Why do I go, you ask? Because I love these kids. I care about them. I care about their lives and about their walks with Jesus. And they love CIY. They important decisions at CIY, they deal with crud at CIY... Why they wait until then to deal with these things, I'm not totally sure I understand or approve. But if I can help at all, I want to be there, even if all I can do is pray. This seriously is a tough week for me: I've been chewed out by parents during this week. I've been chewed up and spit out by students, other adults. This is the time of year every year when I think about giving up youth ministry. And I don't. Why? Because I love my God.
I spent a lot of time in prayer over this over the course of a year, because I was often discouraged, often beaten down, and often questioning if I had any value to youth ministry. I never spoke about it, because I have always been afraid that there would be parents who would come to me and say, "Yeah, you're horrible. I think it would be better if you left." I was afraid the people I worked with would tell me something similar, like I did more harm than good. I began to wonder if I was in the wrong place, and if God didn't really want me to move on. But I loved serving Him and I loved these kids. What was I to do?
Eventually, I came down to this conclusion: I serve God when I do ministry, and I serve for Him. I do it out of love for Him and a desire to honor Him. If I had to boil it down to one reason, that would be it. I don't serve for the sake of myself, or for the sake of others, though I do want to serve others for their benefit, if I am able. Now, that is not to say that God couldn't use me somewhere else than the youth group, and I began to consider if there were anywhere else I might go. Through a lot of prayer, I came to the conclusion, that no, this is where God has me for now. I got into youth ministry because God backed me into that corner, and He hasn't exactly let me out yet. I've had a very, very small handful of people who have come and encouraged me in that area and affirmed to me that I can be of use.
So I look at this week coming up and think about how I am tired, burdened, discouraged, and broken before going, and exhausted, did I mention exhausted? That's not a great beginning for what often is a draining week. Why is this happening? I firmly believe it's spiritual warfare going on. There was one year where spiritual warfare was directed at the adults, and it hasn't seemed to let up yet. Every other adult in our group that I've talked to so far has had a difficult week: trying in various kinds of ways. I honestly believe we're being attacked, we're being hindered before we even step foot within the conference.
I could say that, like the movie, I would stand up and yell out the window, "I'm as mad as all get out, and I'm not going to take it anymore!" (I actually wouldn't use the actual quote verbatim.) But I don't think that's the exactly the right approach. So, if you read this, will you be praying with me? Pray for spiritual protection for our crew this next week, physical safety, emotional well being. Pray for most of all for the students, that they would not be burdened and that there would be no road blocks to their time with the Lord. Pray for our youth pastor, that his love and patience and wisdom would shine that week. Pray for our adults, too, that the spiritual attacks would not hinder them in their ministry, in showing love, and in their ability to worship at the feet of Jesus as well. Pray for a hedge of protection. Our fight is not against flesh and blood or any human being, but our spiritual enemies. And if you look in that text, you'll see that we are called to pray and called to stand. So please, stand with me and pray for us this next week. And may the Mighty Lord prevail.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Sigh
I wanted to write another post today, but my daughter just woke up, an hour early. Maybe I'll see how long she'll stay her in crib. Then maybe I can get something vacuumed...
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
House work
Finally (maybe), a quiet moment to write a post! Or maybe not. (Eliza, who is 8 months old today, by the way, is sitting at my feet playing with my shoes. Let's see how long that keeps the clingy baby happy.)
We have begun work on the house in town! We are so excited. And exhausted. And frustrated. The renter in the first floor apartment of our huge-house-cum-triplex has moved out and we are taking the opportunity to make improvements/repairs to the first floor. We are there just about every other day to rip off wallpaper and scrub off glue. The first day, a friend and I made quick work of denuding the living room of wallpaper. It has not been so easy to remove the glue! We've tried a vinegar and water solution and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed... to no avail. Then we tried a wallpaper-remover and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed... to little avail. Then we tried same remove and scraped and scraped and washed to similar results. We are now discussing sanding and skim-coating the walls. Wallpaper in other parts of the house have proved not so accommodating. There are four layers of wallpaper in the bedroom; three in the dining room. The bedroom wallpaper has proven particularly difficult: there we scrape and scrape and scrape, and can only take the paper off by inches. We're not sure yet how many layers are in the kitchen. Thick enough that Mom triumphed in taking a two foot long, one foot wide jagged strip from the top of the wall, only to have at least another layer underneath that we have yet to penetrate. It is going to be a long, arduous process. We knew it would be a lot of work, a lot of hours scrubbing and scraping before we even make it to taping and priming and painting and cleaning carpet. It is only frustrating and discouraging when you spend two entire days working to see two small (and I mean small) patches on the walls from your work. But, we shall triumph in the end! I'm certain of it. I just keep picturing to myself how lovely it will all look when it is freshly painted with new curtains (instead of the ugly 70's faux toile drapes) hung in the living room. It is going to look nice, and it will be very worth all the effort.
Plans for the first floor, as they stand to this date:
Other things that are in the works, but may extend into the fall:
(Eliza, by the way, has not been remotely satisified with my shoes through the writing of this post, so it is time I close. Hopefully she'll be more content in the living room...)
We have begun work on the house in town! We are so excited. And exhausted. And frustrated. The renter in the first floor apartment of our huge-house-cum-triplex has moved out and we are taking the opportunity to make improvements/repairs to the first floor. We are there just about every other day to rip off wallpaper and scrub off glue. The first day, a friend and I made quick work of denuding the living room of wallpaper. It has not been so easy to remove the glue! We've tried a vinegar and water solution and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed... to no avail. Then we tried a wallpaper-remover and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed... to little avail. Then we tried same remove and scraped and scraped and washed to similar results. We are now discussing sanding and skim-coating the walls. Wallpaper in other parts of the house have proved not so accommodating. There are four layers of wallpaper in the bedroom; three in the dining room. The bedroom wallpaper has proven particularly difficult: there we scrape and scrape and scrape, and can only take the paper off by inches. We're not sure yet how many layers are in the kitchen. Thick enough that Mom triumphed in taking a two foot long, one foot wide jagged strip from the top of the wall, only to have at least another layer underneath that we have yet to penetrate. It is going to be a long, arduous process. We knew it would be a lot of work, a lot of hours scrubbing and scraping before we even make it to taping and priming and painting and cleaning carpet. It is only frustrating and discouraging when you spend two entire days working to see two small (and I mean small) patches on the walls from your work. But, we shall triumph in the end! I'm certain of it. I just keep picturing to myself how lovely it will all look when it is freshly painted with new curtains (instead of the ugly 70's faux toile drapes) hung in the living room. It is going to look nice, and it will be very worth all the effort.
Plans for the first floor, as they stand to this date:
- Remove all wallpaper. And I mean all.
- Remove all glue, or at the least sand and skim over it so it is no longer a threat to paint.
- Paint every room so it is fresh and new.
- Patch walls where needed (and it is needed).
- Give the carpets a good, thorough clean.
- G.I. the entire bathroom.
Other things that are in the works, but may extend into the fall:
- Repaint the exterior of the house (it is long overdue).
- Trim the trees to open up the exterior so you can see it better from the street.
- Remove the overgrowth in the backyard that is taking up, likely, a good 10-15 sq feet of yard!
- Remove bushes from the front of the house.
- Hopefully, sometime soon, repair the front porch which is sloping just a little too much (but is still quite useable).
(Eliza, by the way, has not been remotely satisified with my shoes through the writing of this post, so it is time I close. Hopefully she'll be more content in the living room...)
Monday, July 12, 2010
Wow, it's late
You can tell you're up too late when you're working on a post and post it on the wrong blog... and then it takes you awhile to figure out exactly why things look a little weird! So, if you saw a post on Exodus, it really belonged over on Chronological Thoughts on the Chronological Bible (yes, the title still stinks), and has moved to its appropriate home. Maybe, if I can get my act together well enough tomorrow morning, I'll write that post on the new house I've been meaning to... Truly, it's in the works. I just have to get it done.
Cooking it up
Wow, I hadn't realized it had been so long since I'd posted. But then, there's been a lot going on.
Yesterday, I finally had an opportunity to cook the way I want to start cooking. My parents were out for a party, and what I made I knew they wouldn't like: they're not tomato fans. We had some tomatoes in our stores that needed to be used, and as my parents would rather skip them, I thought this was an excellent opportunity. Nick and I had also picked some fresh basil just a few days before out of our herbs pots and I've been dying to make some homemade pesto! So I got out both mini food processors (so nice that my mom has one now; I might need a bigger one when we move out) and whipped up a quick whole wheat pastry crust and some pesto, sliced up the tomatoes and made a free form tomato tart! YES!
Results? So-so. Everything tasted pretty good. I sprinkled a blend of cheeses on the tart after prebaking it for crispness, and that combined with the crust, the tomatoes, the pesto... really yummy! The only disappointment was my crust. It kept falling apart. I've seen on food blogs about having difficulties with whole wheat crusts or that their tart crusts have been very delicate, so maybe this is not unusual. But I will have to experiment.
I should have taken a picture, as it was really pretty with the red tomatoes, bright green pesto, and the jagged edges of the whole wheat crust, but... I really didn't think about it. I still have tomatoes left over, so I will have to come up with another idea for the tomatoes before they go bad. And then there's the leftover, lovely pesto. Happy eating!
Yesterday, I finally had an opportunity to cook the way I want to start cooking. My parents were out for a party, and what I made I knew they wouldn't like: they're not tomato fans. We had some tomatoes in our stores that needed to be used, and as my parents would rather skip them, I thought this was an excellent opportunity. Nick and I had also picked some fresh basil just a few days before out of our herbs pots and I've been dying to make some homemade pesto! So I got out both mini food processors (so nice that my mom has one now; I might need a bigger one when we move out) and whipped up a quick whole wheat pastry crust and some pesto, sliced up the tomatoes and made a free form tomato tart! YES!
Results? So-so. Everything tasted pretty good. I sprinkled a blend of cheeses on the tart after prebaking it for crispness, and that combined with the crust, the tomatoes, the pesto... really yummy! The only disappointment was my crust. It kept falling apart. I've seen on food blogs about having difficulties with whole wheat crusts or that their tart crusts have been very delicate, so maybe this is not unusual. But I will have to experiment.
I should have taken a picture, as it was really pretty with the red tomatoes, bright green pesto, and the jagged edges of the whole wheat crust, but... I really didn't think about it. I still have tomatoes left over, so I will have to come up with another idea for the tomatoes before they go bad. And then there's the leftover, lovely pesto. Happy eating!
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