Friday Quick 5

1. We've got six weeks to go, folks!  I will confess to being more apprehensive than excited.  I'm really not ready for that postpartum period, dealing with the lack of sleep, the stress of beginning breastfeeding, and having two little people underfoot, all the while trying to sort out which emotions are legitimate and which are hormones.  It's not my idea of fun.  I know many just love that time with their sweet little baby, but little baby is sweet 50% of the time, and the other 50% is poop, spit up, feeding struggles, and an innate refusal to let mommy sleep.  I've barely recovered from Simon's (granted, he hasn't been "sleeping through the night" that long, and still gets me up regularly).  A small part of me wants to say, "Wake me up in October," or better yet November, when Levi's 2 months old and we are getting past that phase.  But I know it's not true.  I don't really want that.  As hard as the postpartum period is, as much as I dislike it, it would devastate me to wake up and find I'd missed the first several weeks of my son's life.  To not know what had happened or to see him grow, or even be the one to be concerned about whether he was getting enough to eat or sleeping enough.  To know another face greeted him when he woke up in need.  So while the thought, "I'm too old for this" has truly crossed my mind, I wouldn't trade it. (I do want to want to say, though, that I am very much looking forward to meeting this little guy, seeing what he looks like, and seeing if he really is going to be as ornery as I think he is.  I have a feeling he's going to have quite the personality.)

2.  This week was Simon's 15-month check-up.  We got shots.  I knew we would, so I already knew it would be a challenging day.  I also knew that we had a few things to discuss with the doctor that might not be fun, namely his eyes.  For the past several weeks we had noticed that Simon's left eye tended to cross on a regular basis, but that both eyes crossed whenever he tried to focus on something.  Here was my sweet, adorable little boy, with an eye that continuously drifted (just barely) in.  I'd been noticing it for awhile, but it was so imperceptible I thought I was being overly concerned.  When I finally pointed it out to Nick, he had to take a hard look at him and then acknowledged he was seeing it too.  Then family began asking about it.  Then I found out people at church had noticed it as well.  We knew his appointment was coming up in just a few weeks, and since we weren't sure he'd tolerate glasses at his age, we decided to ask the doctor then.  We also preferred a referral and keeping our doctor involved rather than just skipping to an ophthalmologist right away.  It's not a good sign when your pediatrician sits down, takes one cursory look at your child, and immediately brings up the eye.  The check-up resulted in us making a hurried trip to Kansas City and Children's Mercy Hospital.  That's a longer story than the Quick 5 can take, so I have another post I'm writing to share about it.  It has made for a stressful and irregular week and a whole host of new thoughts and things to consider.

3.  The fall-out of an unexpectedly busy week and the following exhaustion from our trip was that Eliza began acting out and pushing her brother around for attention.  Partly, she desperately wanted his attention.  Partly, she desperately wanted mind.  Another part that needs to be considered is the fact that she is two-and-a-half years old and acts like it from time to time.  I have been sleeping horribly and everything piled on top, I was exhausted.  I didn't have a great deal of patience.  It had been spent in the waiting room at Mercy and dealing with SpongeBob (yeah, look for that post).  I will say that I tried very, very hard not to get snippy or to be short with her; I didn't always succeed.  I thank the Lord for two things here: my husband, and a post I read online just this morning.  Nick, that amazing, amazing man modeled for me how to be kind and gentle and patient, even when I didn't want to be.  He took a few minutes out of his day yesterday to come home to hug me and to hug Eliza.  Our day went quite smoothly together after that.  I don't think Eliza had even realized how badly she needed a hug and a listening ear until he came in.  From there, she started asking me for hugs and found that I was in fact listening.  And then this morning, I read an article by Kara Fleck from SimpleKids.net  about the importance of touch in parenting and childcare.  It reaffirmed to me the kind of parent I want to be.  Today has totally been about touch: stroking Eliza's hair, hugging my children, rubbing their backs or their arms, stroking their cheeks when I talk to them.  Giving them an extra pat or hug when I change their clothes, a diaper, put on shoes, when I talk to them.  Eliza has been a great deal calmer and Simon a great deal more independent.  Which has helped Mommy feel a great deal less frazzled.

4. TUMI.  Can I just say, as much as I'm enjoying it, it's wearing me out?  All of our downtime is actually homework time.  When we might like to read a book and enjoy a story or watch a movie together, or do this or that, Nick and I are at our dining room table or our desks in the office, reading require reading, looking up Scripture, writing summaries and papers, etc.  Don't be mistaken: we're enjoying the reading.  We're enjoying the discussions we have as we read and as we do the Scripture.  We're learning a lot, being stretched in our faith, being forced to consider things in a new light.  This module is about Christian Mission (not necessarily missions or foreign missions, but what is the mission of the Christian faith), and we're looking at what urban ministry looks like, how theology works inside that framework, etc.  It's good; it's challenging; it's exhausting.  So many other pursuits, hobbies, interests, goals have been put on hold to get the work done.  I don't know that that's very balanced or the way it should be.  I may need to take a cut on my grade to find that balance, and that's okay.  I'm not in TUMI for straight-A's.  (The ONLY time I ever got straight-A's was at Washburn in teacher ed; I strove for that because it was communicated to me that it was important and would be considered when I was looking for a job.  True?  I don't know.)  I'm in TUMI for training.  So if I have to take a hit on my overall grade so that my training doesn't wear me out or make me unfit to go out there and DO what I'm learning, so be it.

5.  I have a countdown app on my Iphone with four countdowns currently.  Here's the summary (rounded to even days):

1. 41 days until Levi is due.
2. 14 days until the 2012 Summer Olympics in London.
3. 70 days until the first day of Fall.
4. 164 days until Christmas.  

Which am I most excited for/most anxiously awaiting?  I'll leave that to you to guess.