On being a peaceful mama and the nature of a test

Yesterday, I stumbled upon an article on how to be a more peaceful mother at Family Your Way.  At first, I just skimmed it as the first point seemed rather obvious.  However, a quote from Ann Voskamp suggesting that those who hurry are amateurs stopped me in my tracks.  If this is true, I am a perpetual amateur.  I am constantly hurrying my children: getting them dressed, getting them out the door, even just trying to get them down the stairs.  The quote did two things.  First, it played a bit on my insecurity that I am still just a kid myself pretending to be an adult and parent.  Secondly, it convicted me deeply about being more peaceful with my children.  I stopped, reread that particular point twice more, and then read the entire post again with more attention.

I recognize, clearly, that being more peaceful with my children is essential to the kind of mother I want to be and the kind of children I want to raise.  It's the building blocks towards the environment I want our home to have.  It's my job to set the tone for our home, for the relationships between myself and my children.  It's my job to be the adult and to remember that they are just children, that they are learning, that it's my job to teach them.  Things that are difficult to accomplish if I am stressed, reactionary, and rushed.

Last night I made the resolution to try the recommended action steps, namely to hurry myself when it was time to prepare/get ready for the day, and to test myself to see how long I can stay calm.  I even told my husband about it this morning over the coffee cups, and resolutely gathered the kids to go upstairs to dress and prepare to head out for a morning of errands a half hour earlier than usual.  Sounds like a good start, right?

About an hour later, I hit that moment people like to call "where the rubber meets the road".  The crying began about 15 minutes before we were due to leave the house, at the same moment a friend from out-of-country called.  During the midst of trying to actually talk to my friend, whom I'd barely been to connect with lately, I found our back door ajar, did a house-check to make sure it really was just that the door hadn't latched, and get the kids gathered up and out the door for our appointment.  Through the morning we were late, the kids cried for long and extended periods, and my patience tested.  What a morning to try to begin being a peaceful mama, right?

I had once heard someone say to never ask the Lord for patience, because rather than being granted patience, you will be given reason to need to practice it.  While I understand the half-laughing, tongue-in-cheek sentiment, I've wondered if it was really wise.  Isn't it the same principle as "Give a child a fish, and they will eat for a day; teach them to fish, and they will eat for a lifetime"?  If God simply granted us patience, would we really know how to practice it?  Would that really last?

I look at this morning with the same view.  I want to practice peace in my home.  I could try practicing it in times where it's easy to be peaceful: the children are being good, things are going to plan, nothing arises to mar our day.  But would I really have practiced it?  Would I really have sharpened myself in this area?  Not really, right?  There were many times where I know I failed to practice peace this morning.  Muttering under my breath at people while trying to go through a drive-thru for something for my constantly hungry son (yes, Simon's going through a growth spurt) because I was unprepared and now stressed because of the crying is definitely one example.  But there were also lots of opportunities to test myself, to see how long I could remain calm and positive, to learn where my pressure points are, and to see the areas where I fall short on being prepared.  And, of course, this afternoon is a chance to start over.  Every time I fail is a chance to start over, to stop, to pause, to reorient and direct, not only the kids but myself.

As a sidenote: yes, peace is a fruit of the Spirit.  This is something I'm very aware of.  It is a result of a growing relationship with my Savior and from being willing to be taught and disciplined by Him.  Part of being prepared should really be that I have made sure to get up and find time to spend time in prayer and time in the Word so I can be taught, so I have laid a foundation for my day for the Spirit to bear that fruit in me.  Yeah, that's hard to do with a newborn, being up every few hours in the night and being a little mentally challenged due to lack of sleep and roller-coaster hormones during the postpartum period.  But it can still be done.  Action step tomorrow: make sure it does get done.