A friend indeed

There are two women in my life who aren't family but should be, or more realistically pretty much are family.  Both I met in college, and today one of them has a birthday.

I met Kala my freshman year of college.  Though she was on my floor and part of the entry festivities for freshman, my earliest memory of her was after my first Old Testament.  Another girl from our floor had broken her foot in those freshman activities and needed help getting her books and things from class to class while hobbling on her crutches.  I walked up to her after class, hoping to get to know her better, and offered to help.  She turned me down.  Kala was already helping.  I felt a bit jealous of her, then, that she was already making connections.  Over the next few weeks, I desperately wanted to make friends.  Normally, I'm shy.  Incredibly, painfully, debilitatingly shy.  I knew I had to get over it.  So, the natural thing to do was to pick out a couple of rooms on my floor, go in, and basically make those girls be my friends.  Right?  Maybe not, but that's what I did.  And thank You, Lord, that one of them was Kala.

Shirleen, me, Charissa, and Kala

Over the course of our freshman year, many games of pool, even a few trips home together, Kala and I became good friends.  The more I knew her, the more I liked her.  Her family was fully of zany stories: playing "lepers" as kids and yelling out, "Unclean! Unclean!" as they did in Bible times; performing "Lonesome Polecat" for her folks; the times her brother recorded their conversations while playing; thinking that crawling across the hallway into each other's rooms would make them invisible to their parents.  Kala is as unlike me as you can get.  She's not the least bit romantic.  She loves Star Wars and Star Trek, superheros, video games and football.  I used to go into her room and check out what battle her actions figures were locked in at the moment.  Few people have understood my caustic humor as well as she, or my passion for Lord of the Rings.  She was the one who stood in line for two hours with me to see the midnight premiere of Fellowship of the Ring and geeked out with me over every sneak peek and special they aired up to that night.  She's also one of the most godly women I know.  She has the gentle and quiet spirit of 1 Peter 3.  She followed God's calling to go to China, though she knew it meant waiting at least two years before she could get married to a very good man.  She has been a testament to me to seek out God's will before her own, even when it seemed almost impossible to bear, and how good that submission was once made.  When you look at Kala, you see Jesus.

Sporting her Husker pride

Kala and I have remained friends over the more-than 15 years since we first met.  Living in Omaha after school gave us lots of opportunity to cement that friendship.  Coffee dates, dinners at each others' homes, meeting once a week for lunch, long drives going from place to place, all afforded us time to talk about both the serious and hilarious.   I loved every moment.  When I moved to Alabama for a year, she came to visit.  When she moved to China for two years, I prayed every day for her ministry and safety.  I called her there to tell her I was getting married and she came home to be a party of my wedding.  I had the privilege of being a part of hers a year later, as well.

Two big moments for each of us: Kala's wedding and my first child

Kala is one of those friends that no matter how much time has passed, when we talk we still laugh together, can still share together as if no time has passed.  Through the course of our relationship, we've learned that to be truly be friends, we need to be honest with one another, even if what we have to say hurts; we've also learned how to forgive and completely let go.  If I need someone to pray, she's at the top of my call list.  I pour my heart out to her over email, Skype, and cellular connections, and I know that even if I'm sharing something ugly, she loves me.  It's trite, but sometimes the trite is true: she is the friend as close as a sister.  I might wish that she lived closer, that we saw each other's children more.  We once joked that if we never got married, we'd buy a house with our friends and grow old as cat ladies on our alma mater's campus.  (Kala, though, would likely have kicked out all the cats.)  Now, I would just settle for seeing regularly.  Thank the Lord, there's Skype.

Praying together before my wedding

I could not be more grateful for her friendship or that I have been blessed by such a godly woman for a friend.  I know when she reads this, she will be slightly embarrassed and humbled by such a glowing report.  She'll deny the accolades.  I hope she'll be touched.

Happy birthday, dearest friend.  Eat a slice of cake for me.