Difficult times ahead

I must confess to a feeling a little nervousness when I wake up every morning. Any time I look further down the road than the day ahead, the week ahead, I start feeling very uncomfortable. I see difficult times coming. The economy is bad; I need to find a job. I feel very nervous about teaching, even though I would like to have my own classroom and I love educating youth. I simply feel the future is more uncertain than I'd really contemplated before.

However, it has really become an exercise in trusting my God more and more. I live with a man who trusts completely in the sovereignty of God. Even in little hypothetical conversations, such as one I initiated a few weeks ago ("Do you have a preference on whether we have a boy or girl first?"), his response immediately points out that the Father is in control: "It's really not up to us, is it?"

No. No, it's not up to us (though that wasn't the point of the exercise, it was more a curiosity). Neither is a wide variety of things. And I admit, I am very glad that life is not as up to chance as many people believe, but that there is Someone who is in control and knows exactly what He's doing and can provide my every need. Consider Matthew 7. Does He not dress the lilies of the field far better than Solomon's court? And if He takes care of these, which are here today and burned tomorrow, would He not take much more care of the creation He's patterned after His own heart, His own image? Um, yes.

It's not a new exercise to me: looking forward and just having to trust that all will come out alright. What if the economy gets worse? What can happen? What will happen? Doesn't today have enough pressure of its own? Questions can (and sometimes do) swim around in my mind until they create a veritable whirlpool and there goes my veritgo.

Which, again, brings me back to my husband. Yes, difficult times are ahead, but he sets such a good example to me. We've begun praying together every morning before he leaves for work, even if it's only five minutes. And every morning he prays that we will be wise with our money and that we will trust in His provision. He has note cards with Scriptures written on them on our coffee table and he has a book he's purchased to put combine them in. I pick them up and read them every morning and am so grateful that my husband, the head of my family, has these things rattling around in his head each day. I'm thankful that he, who stresses over little, puts up with me, who stresses over everything. But even more so, I'm thankful that he sets such a good example in complete faith in a sovereign Provider who will indeed see to our needs. Even if life becomes more precarious. It bolsters my confidence. It reminds me to be faithful.

Does the Lord provide? Yes, indeed. He has provided for me.


(And to anyone who might read this post and jump to conclusions, children are not among my concerns. The above quoted conversation was simply out of curiosity brought on because of friends who actually are expecting. I'm not expecting anything in that quarter. Just need to be clear.)