A woman worth finding

For my high school girls small group, we've been going through Proverbs.  I admit, this book is not one of my strong suits and it's been difficult for me to teach.  As I've been going through it, trying to put together lessons and things, Proverbs 31 has been looming over me.  I've gone to read that passage and commentaries over it several times, and each time I feel as if a stone has fallen down through my chest to weigh down my stomach.  This is a woman worth finding, and make no mistake: Proverbs is very clear that a good wife is the best thing a man can find.  A woman of character, who works hard, who makes her husband's burdens easier, who has no fear of the future, who teaches wisdom, who takes care of others beyond her family (how does she find the time??).  She rises early to see to her household, she deserves praise and she fears the Lord above all else.  Sounds like perfection, isn't it?  Are you like me wondering if she ever has a bad hair day or loses patience with her children (or are they perfect, too?) or if she ever even sleeps??

I don't mean to sound sarcastic here.  It's just that every time I read this passage, I realize how far I am from every measuring up.  I have admitted on here before how bad I am at housework.  Yeah, that schedule I made up?  Went out the door after Eliza was very sick and her schedule fell to pieces.  I have risen early to make my husband's lunch for him, but then head back to bed for awhile because I'd lost so much sleep during the night.  When, likely, I should have begun "attending to my household."  Sometimes I think to myself, "Does this Proverbs woman not have any small children?"  But, at one time, she had to have because her children rise up and call her blessed.  Was she this together when they were small?

Truth is, Eliza is often the reason I don't get a lot of work done.  She is too demanding, or things just happen (can you say two blow outs in a matter of hours?), or she won't nap.  But sometimes I wonder if it's just an excuse.  Then again, running the vacuum while she's sitting in the living room really isn't a hot idea, and cleaning the bathroom if she's with me makes me a little nervous because of the fumes of the cleaners in such a small space.  And sadly, she's currently going through a phase where if I'm in the room, and I'm not holding her, she throws a fit.  I can only take that so long, sadly.  (And though Mom tells me to let her cry, she can only take it so long as well. ;) )  Still.  I know moms with four children, five children, who homeschool, who do a variety of things, and still manage to keep their homes in working order and put good meals on the table.  (This is another subject for posting to come soon.)  Surely, then, I could, too, right?

Don't mistake: the condemnation is mine alone.  I have an amazing husband.  A husband who tells me almost every day that I am a blessing to him.  And a husband like that deserves a Proverbs wife, a woman of character and a keeper of the home.  So, I've got some work to do.  Excuse, me.