Monday, May 3, 2010

How much do you share?

I don't pretend to be the most experienced or savvy blogger.  I always wonder if I should do it another way or if it really matters.  It's my blog, right?  I can say what I want to.  But there is a falseness in that statement.  Sure, I can say what I want to.  But as Paul says, Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.  So, when it comes to your own life, how much do you put down?  Is it better to put on a brave face and keep the dirty laundry to yourself?  Or do you share some of the harder things in order to "keep it real"?  I've had a painful weekend.  Nay, I painful week.  I've been down (maybe depressed is a good word); I had a horrible, horrible fight with someone I love and respect (but no, not my husband if you're wondering); and I've been discouraged about some ministry things I'm facing.  I spent the majority of yesterday beating myself up for every little thing I said because I felt I could have said it better, or done better, or showed more discretion, or... what have you.  I am simply discouraged about me.  I am fearfully and wonderfully made, right?  I am saved by grace to a life of righteousness.  And I feel I should be doing a better job with what I've been given.  In many ways I feel like I am failing, and in some of those ways, failing epicly.  Perhaps sharing this for all the world to see is stepping over a boundary of discretion, but perhaps I am still learning that fine line between honesty and discretion.  They really aren't in contradiction to each other all the time.

So from this corner of the world, my spirit is in a small amount of turmoil.  What can I do to be and do better?  What would the Lord have me do or change?  There are so many thoughts whipping in different directions.  I could probably write three different posts at least just from one weekend.  But I'm just not sure how much should be shared.

1 comment:

  1. so sorry you are having a rough time!! NOt fun! I hope things start turning up for you soon, friend!!

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